[IC post-trauma post]

[playingdoctor]

[....from Umeda's office, where the door is closed for once, comes the sound of Blade Runner.]


((OOC: Everyone and their mother, including Akiha and Io, have dropped in this last little while; Umeda's indulging in his comfort movie. *g* Anyone can feel free to jump this post to catch the movie with him or harass him after it to cheer him up; this post isn't for anyone specific -- I just didn't think I could manage a main-comm post that might hit a few thousand again, but anyone's still free to come and bug Umeda. Got an appointment? Meant to return something to him? Heard about the drops? Come by and say hi.))

Comments

[playingdoctor]

Well, it wasn't like I was like

ATTENTION WORLD: THIS UMEDA-SAMA IS EXTREMELY HOMOSEXUAL

-- or anything. It just came up. You're the one who kept thinking about it.

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking about it a little! It's not like everyone who figures they're gay just BRINGS IT UP like that, that's all! And I keep meeting people that do!

[playingdoctor]

Well, yeah, a lot of people are really shy about it. They don't want to talk about it because they're embarrassed, and it doesn't seem like a "guy" thing to do, let alone a "cool guy" thing. Which I consider a little dumb, because it's really hard to be gay if you're not, you know, pretty heavily caught up in your own gender.

I figure people who worry a lot about if they're liked get more worried about it, try not to say it -- half 'cause they don't want to hear other people's reactions, half because they don't wanna hear it themselves, because they think about what they'd think of themselves if they turned out to be gay, and don't like it much. Eh, I was always a pretty antisocial kid so it was easy for me when I figured it out, though. Someone who's got a lot of friends might have it harder. Hell, even then, I only told one friend back then.

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

. . . . . . .

Well I mean, it's not like I'm not used to it, my teammate's gay and so's a - . . .mentor I guess, but that's just how they are, they don't really have to say anything. And they're uh, definitely okay with it.

[playingdoctor]

Sure, but even then, I bet it's somehow weird how okay they are with it, right? I know it's really easy to end up being like, "Oh man, if I was like that, I so wouldn't be okay with it" and it ends up being kind of something you can't grok even more because it's so easy for 'em.

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

Well, that was sort of their first impression to begin with, so I don't really think it's weird. Though it's not like they have to worry about changing or realizing or anythi n . . .g.






. . .Son of a bitch ARE YOU GIVING ME ADVICE?

[playingdoctor]

Oh shit! Did you notice?

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

I was- that- y-you - What the fuck I was just REACTING TO THE WORD "GAY," HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DO THAT

[playingdoctor]

Do you drink coffee?

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

......... I. Whh. --NO.

[playingdoctor]

Okay, mind if I make myself a cup?

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

[goddd hides in his hat]

Knock yourself out.

[playingdoctor]

[makes coffee!] Anything you want while I'm up?

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

Dignity O WAIT I wouldn't know what to do with that

Hot chocolate.

[playingdoctor]

Okay.

[mixes it, then comes back a few minutes later, putting a mug down in front of Kazu.]

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

[sighs and takes it]

Okay you don't have to give me advice.

[playingdoctor]

Nah, I don't have to. Still, you wanna talk about it?

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

No, I mean. I get it already, I'm fine with it. There's no big internal THIS ISN'T OKAY or anything, that's stupid.

[playingdoctor]

Uh-huh?

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

Yes. So.

Fuck, I can't believe that just happened under my nose.

[playingdoctor]

Nah, I was just keeping my eyes and ears open.

And, you know, it's just that the bit with worrying about changing and realizing things sounded kinda like you weren't totally okay with it.

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

I think you have some evil mind-reading device in your brain.

. . .I don't want people to FIND OUT, though I guess some people know already anyway. But as far as me goes, I'm over it.

[playingdoctor]

Man, that'd be awesome.

Why don't you want people to find out?

[thebackburner.livejournal.com]

I don't wanna bother with it? It's not like it matters.

[playingdoctor]

That the truth?