playingdoctor | (no subject)

S'UP

SO JUST HOW GAY WAS MELLO ANYWAY.

Also Umeda's thoughts on his PostSecrets conversation with Tomo because I'm self-centered.

MELLO WAS ABOUT 80% GAY, 20% STRAIGHT. His trouble mostly was that his scale for measuring sexual attraction was so far fucked up that it had very very little to do with the body at all!

Umeda's kind of weird about love problems. He'll listen and support people hardcore but he also isn't an idealist at all. He assumes things won't work out and he's often kind of scornful about idealistic views of things. He knows pretty well how relationships progress -- how at one time something's good enough for someone but it doesn't stay that way, and they start to need more. He doesn't actually know that many girls who're still in the teenage sort of...view of things, but he does know Mizuki, and Tomo very vaguely reminds him of Mizuki at times. So basically, after he got jolted out of this whole "It's all about me" irritation, he was sympathetic, entirely willing to listen, and -- not having much faith in it. Erm.

If camp rules really were lifted for a day, ~~who~~ what would Umeda do, specifically?

What do you think Mello is up to right now?

What does Marluxia think will happen to him if/when he leaves camp, and what does he plan to do?

... and general Umeda-on-Axel would be nice.

Mmmm, Umeda on Axel.

ALSO Tomo wants to whine at you about her TINY BOYFRIEND, PORNSTAR BUTT, WHY IS CAMP A COCKBLOCKER

AWESOME uh you can go whine at him right now if you want, he's in Marluxia's post.

... also you will get VERY LITTLE REAL SYMPATHY from him because LOOK AT THE SQUIRMY BLUE-EYED THING HE SLEEPS WITH. S-so much with the cockblocked.

My boyfriend cockblocks me even when he's not deaged. ;;

There, there. It'll be Okay.

Ahahaha. If they WERE lifted? Unfortunately, most of Umeda's options are, well. Taken. I alternate whether or not Umeda's perfectly willing to cheat or have others cheat, and I think canon can support both sides -- he doesn't like hurting people he cares about (at least, on more than a surface level; he likes being an asshole to them, but not hurting them, if that makes sense) but he doesn't give a shit about hurting people he doens't care about. He also refers to 'playing' with some people rather than dating them, but I figure that for casual one-night whatevers. I've been playing it basically that as long as it's casual, it's okay -- if they're hooked up and okay with that, s'fine; if they're not, well, what's the point in having casual sex if not everyone's having fun and all kinds of issues come with it?

Normally, I'd say 'Akiha' here. No question about it. Akiha and he are used to having sex to keep their non-relationship in some kind of order and a lot of why things are fucked up between them now is because they're having to interact in ways that really don't include most of what they. Well. DO. But right now Akiha's with Ayame, at least to some extent, and Akiha DOESN'T cheat. So even if rules were lifted, it might not happen. Umeda'd like it to, though.

And most of the people in camp he'd want sex with? Are taken.

...

So probably what he'd do, specifically, is go to SEE a bunch of people, realize they're already having sex with their significant others, and then go drown his sorrows in booze.

However, if camp rules were lifted for a day and everyone was single: Akiha, Axel, and Gojyo are his main interests. There are one or two others he'd flirt with and see where it went, but yeah.

...

That went long! I'll answer the others in another part.

Right now, ~~someone is reading this title~~ Mello is ruining his life. Right now would be set post chapter 58, would be set after Mello heading determinedly off to find things out. However, it's pre-mafia -- we know he was only in that for a year, after having been absent three years. He IS probably getting involved in a great deal of crime to try to find out whta he can about the 'incident' but he's also got a lot of knowledge due to camp. He KNOWS who's capable of it.

...

He's also trying to find out where Mahora would be, on a less 'fucking up his life' note. He hasn't got room for much else than vengeance, but he has to be looking around Japan ANYWAY, right, and ... yeah. Promises are yet important to him. Not that he'd find Chisame there right now, at least a Chisame who remembers him, but -- he wouldn't talk to anyone. He'd watch from a distance, mostly.

Marluxia, first off, doesn't think he'll die. He recognizes the possibility and has entirely dismissed it for two reasons. First, if he's going to die, there's nothing he can do about it, so why dwell? He HAS to get out there and live up to his ambitions while he has the chance, so he'll take that risk. It's not like he hasn't risked death for what he wants before. He HATED being dead, but. Well. Second, he just doesn't think it's likely. Possible, sure, but not likely. Resurrection happens all the time in the KH verse in various forms, and once you're alive, you're alive until you're dead again. As shown by Maleficient, world-hopping doesn't change this. He doesn't consider himself any more likely to die than Maleficient did when she left Twilight Town for Hollow Bastion, I'm guessing.

When he gets back? Well. See the AU. He isn't sure what state the surviving Nobodies have been left in after the destruction of Kingdom Hearts but he's got an idea it won't be good. Their hopes have been crushed, their dreams toyed with, their leadership ruined, and they've suffered extremely heavy losses. They both need leadership and are ripe for the plucking, he thinks. Now, there's a number of details he doesn't know about -- you know, like Maleficient in the Castle that Never Was and the huge influx of heartless in the castle itself, but he thinks he'll survive, and he plans to form a new Organization to run his way by going in and helping pull the stragglers together in their 'hour of need'.

...Umeda on Axel in part 3.

Under him, Axel laughs. He digs his fingers into the blankets and grins with bared teeth as he laughs, the sound bubbling through his lips as he rocks back hard. It should sound vicious, Umeda thinks. Axel probably wants it to. It sounds good instead -- aroused, needy, hopeful--

...I mean!

Umeda's feelings on Axel are complicated and a lot of them are things he hasn't acknowledged. Axel's someone he's considered safe to 'play' with because, well, they're both stupidly in love with someone else. It's a no-risk game where the sex would be incredible and the friendship close and none of it has pesky worries like the risk of love.

...This totally ignores the fact that people can fall in love outside of current relationships and that people can love more than one person because Umeda will ignore things he doesn't like or which scare him and he's well and truly convinced that he can't love anyone but Ryouichi.

Or um, was. Axel's slow constant insistance that Umeda was in love with Akiha kind of shook things up, no less because it's true. He STILL wavers back and forth between accepting and denying it with Akiha, but the fact of the matter is, and something Umeda's realized, that when you've proven your initial defense wrong you could fall in love with all manner of people and Axel is not, at least on his side of things, safe.

He has not acknowledged that, which is good, because he'd have to acknowledge that crush if he did.

I think I've mentioned before that Axel is exactly his type. Umeda doesn't like people who are all one 'type' -- he likes mixes or masks, people who seem to be one thing but are something else, and the complicated movement back and forth between that. Kijima is a guy who's always smiling and genial, and is a manipulative asshole who is so lonely and broken that he'll do anything to keep the things around him that make him feel good. And Umeda bitches about him constantly and snipes about how nasty he is, but also loves everything about Kijima. He acknowledges too that Akiha's the same type but "for some reason I don't want to get into it" -- my read of this is that Akiha's risky because Akiha genuinely loves him (something Kijima certainly doesn't) and ...Umeda's scared. He's spent pretty much his entire life being disappointed. It's something he knows. Easier that than start to hope again and get disappointed.

...given the above? I think you can see how the thing with Axel gets... erm, complicated. Becaues Axel's very similar to Kijima, is CERTAINLY both Umeda's type emotionally, mentally, and physically, and is also slowly but surely falling into the risk category.

All is well while he can ignore the things that scare him, but. Well.

On a slightly side note, Umeda really likes Roxas, and he really likes it when Roxas and Axel work. He can't quite get over the fact that Roxas looks so young -- intellectually he knows that a nobody WILL look like their other, and that Roxas and Axel aren't that far apart in age, and that judging them by his own standards is absurd, but it's something that always gets to him anyway. DESPITE that, he really supports Axel/Roxas because the two of them need each other and make each other happy, and it's a rare thing to see. Like when he supported Mizuki and Sano in canon, he's cautious, but at the same time will step back and support where he can. Though uh. In this case with considerably more fuckups becuase of his own attraction to Axel. He hates doing that to Roxas.

On a final note, Axel also appeals to another side of Umeda -- the nurturing one. Which... okay his bedside manner is horrible and he's grumpy and bitchy, but Umeda's a good doctor and in Hana-Kimi we see he's a constant counsellor to the people he cares about. Sometimes quiet, serious, and listening, sometimes jerking them around when that's what they need. Most of the time Axel seems not that much younger than Umeda, but there's times he shows his real age -- he seems young, vulnerable, and unable to understand some of the aspects of life that seem so normal to Umeda. At those times, it's kind of hilarious to me, but the sexual interest just vanishes for a bit -- Umeda's just there to guide him.

u-uh I think that's general enough! ♥

STATE OF THE UNION ADRESS in re: Umeda and his thoughts and feelings on the whole Akiha/Ayame thing.

I DON'T GET THIS STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS REFERENCE [isn't American]

-- Anyway!

On the one hand, Umeda supports Akiha and Ayame. He is pretty damn sure Akiha needs someone who isn't him to be happy -- that Akiha needs a normal relationship and chances to get to do and say the things he wants to someone without being rebuffed. Akiha's relationship with Ebi had been good and close before it had broken up and I have to think that Umeda also thinks Ebi was good for Akiha. Ayame's not like Ebi, per se, but Umeda's well aware that Akiha has to, and should, follow his heart. And hey, if he falls in love, good for him, right? Right.

This is because above all Umeda considers Akiha a friend, and will support the things thta makes him happy.

However.

It doesn't mean he likes it.

In canon, although we never actually see Akiha reacting to the people Umeda dates or plays with, we see Umeda reacting to the ones Akiha had. And Umeda is a bitter, sour, gleefully sadistic bastard about it. (You know? I half suspect the photographer woman he tormented into tears was one of Akiha's university girlfriends. Must talk to Ame about that.) At one point Umeda gets all snarkily sadistically delighted about Akiha's past history of breakups with certain people -- "You don't like women who smoke, right? You still don't like that? Hah!" -- sort of behaviour. That Akiha's reason for it was related to his personal trauma sobered Umeda, sure (...and made him check his smoking habits for a little wihle, apparently!), but he still acted like that. He's a bitter vengeful little man who may support it at the time, but as for how he interacts with the dates in question is an entirely different question.

I'd say he likes Ayame which makes Ayame safe but -- that's not true! He DID like Ayame, and Ayame was fun to flirt with and whatever, sure. But this developing thing with Akiha has made Umeda very tense and waspish around Ayame. He doesn't want to talk with him! Doesn't want to see him! Doesn't want to LIKE him, certainly! He KNOWS Ayame's pretty much a good person and is probably good for Akiha, but the wound's a little fresh, and Umeda's not that good a person, and so the few times they've crossed paths lately Umeda's gotten either sulky or waspish. If the relationship devleops hardcore he'll probably develop a resigned acceptance (I imagine he was and is there with Ebi, unlike a lot of Akiha's briefer dates).

But as things are, it underscores the fact that despite himself, Umeda WANTS things, and the disappointments still hurt. More so because he feels he should have expected to be disappointed.

If Marluxia was told he couldn't go back to the KH-verse and instead had to chose another, which would it be and why?

Fundamentally uninterested! All of his goals and plans involve making it back to the World that Never Was. If he did pick somewhere else it'd be a temporary area only, where he'd go only until he could find a way to create a dark path to his own world. It'd be as much of a standover as camp is now. He'd be incredibly dissatisfied out of his own verse.

If he had to pick one? I don't really know. He might pick YnM-verse if Larxene and he were both in that boat, so Larxene could at least have friends and allies (and be less likely to turn on him O I MEAN) or maybe Haruhi-verse (...hahaha) but it'd mostly be a question of keeping allies for the time he gets to return to what's HIS.

After almost a year, how does Hakkai feel about camp?

Also, if somehow the KH and Furuba cast ended in the Hankimi universe when camp is over, what do you think would happen?

In re: question two-- THEY TOTALLY WILL BE. Just saying.

Hakkai is not particularly a big fan of camp. He doesn't hate it -- karmically, he thinks it's a remarkably appropriate place, which forces issues to get exposed and dealt with in ways they both wouldn't and couldn't be in the normal world. He also feels that on the journey through life, the detours may be the most important part for personal growth. But it's also interfereing with a kind of time sensitive matter he decided he wanted to do, and the Sanzo and Goku with him, at least, aren't quite the ones he knew from home (They're taken from different canons/points in canon) and it's discomfitting. He's half convinced he went mad somewhere along the way and this is all a fever dream, which comforts him only in that it means he didn't go mad and kill everyone.

... yes!

Umm. As for the other. The first thing I see happening is Ayame and Akiha so relieved to find each other again that they hook up after acknowledging the truth of their feelings, and Axel might snap and kill a bitch. Barring Axel killing people, Umeda would... resign himself to it. He's done it before, he can do it again. He'd be miserable for a bit, but he's often miserable so we wouldn't see that big a change. Meanwhile, Axel and Roxas would move into an apartment across the hall and it'd become like a wacky sitcom where at one point Roxas would walk in on them making out on the couch and somebody'd get keybladed.

Marluxia would also move into the same building, because he's currently Observing Axel, and see if he couldn't drag Larxene along. They might get a basement apartment and creep people out. "Sometimes we hear screaming"

I'm not so sure as for the rest of the Sohmas etc, though!

Just for a change, Marluxia and Kurama. I'm curious~

Marluxia is interested in Kurama, but not interested in a terribly active way. He'll go to talk when he sees him, but he's not lurking around in dark tunnels spying WHICH IS AN APPROPRIATE USE OF RESOURCES IN OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES, REALLY.

a-anyway.

Most of what intrigues Marluxia about Kurama isn't any of the facts -- not his age, his youkai nature, any of the things he generally inquired about. More, it's the fact that he plays the game, and moreover, even if it's not quite the same game (though it might be!) that they play using the same tools. If and when they fight it'll be a battle of control as much as anything else.

Marluxia is -- intrigued might be a better term. Anticipatory.

Umeda and Marluxia on Haruhi ♥

How would Umeda feel about Ryouichi coming to camp?

Umeda on Haruhi - Umeda likes her kind of despite himeslf. He didn't want to, particularly, but then she ended up being a remarkable amount LIKE him AND hilarity happened when it was pointed out. it meant he warmed to her, admittedly in a grouchy, smug manner. Annnd then all this stuff with Akiha and Axel happened, and it's sort of weird to him to have a confidante but despite thedifference in relationship they've both got to the two of them, they both HAVE a relationship to the two of them and that's, I think, a bonding factor with them recently. Do yo uagree? I don't think he knows Haruhi well yet, but he likes her. And unlike most people her age, he views her more as a personal friend and less as someone he's mentoring.

Marluxia on Haruhi -- Marluxia is known to, erm, have interest by proxy. A lot of people would fundamentally not interest him until they did something to/for him on their own merit, but if someone who interests him is interested by them, he'll skip that step. XD Axel's closeness to Haruhi intrigued him, and Haruhi's own attack of him the first time they met did likewise. They started out very -- cutting of each other, kind of vicious, and along the way it's smoothed out a bit. Marluxia IS playing some games with Haruhi, but Haruhi's not stupid enough to not KNOW it, and that amuses him too. I want to say he likes Haruhi, but Marluxia 'liking' someone isn't ever quite the human equivalent. He's genial towards and pleased/amused by her presence, I guess you could say. She's someone he WILL seek out to interact with more.

Umeda would... be both delighted and horrified by Ryouichi coming to camp. He's very, very easily changed by Ryouichi -- something that always stood out to me is that even if he can yell and bitch at the phone after Ryouichi's hung up, he's almost docile on the phone. He does just about whatever Ryouichi asks of him, and when they do meet, it's all calm and quiet. I think one of the reasons he bitches more to others about Ryouichi is that he doesn't want them to see him so totally -- centered on something. He also has no clue how people like Akiha and Axel would react to Ryouichi. But, of course, he'd get to see him and he misses him horribly so. Yeah. Mixed feelings.

Yeah. Haruhi actually kind of hated Umeda when they first met because she thought he was a total dick and there was the whole him and Akiha thing which she didn't really understand at the time. In any case, she kept poking him JUST TO BE AN ASS, 'cause. She's like that. But started finding herself liking him despite herself. And yeah, with all the shit that's gone down recently, they've kind of bonded over that and he's someone she can talk to about both of them and he'll know exactly what she means. And now, even if Akiha and Axel weren't involved, she'd still poke him. 'Sides, kind of sadistic and she likes that. Although, their last conversation kind of left her worried about him when Umeda was talking about home, so she'll be looking for him to make sure he's okay. She won't really talk about herself around him yet, because she still doesn't quite trust him, but he's one of the few adults she actually has some semblance respect for.

As for Marluxia, Haruhi doesn't really trust him. She likes him a lot and thinks he's fun to poke and can be totally evil around him, but there's no way in hell she'd place her life in his hands or anything. And it's funny, 'cause when they first met, she didn't actually hate him or anything. It was more of a "you're a dick for what you did, asshole" and that was about it. And then she would poke him to piss him off. Like she does. But now, she enjoys his company quite a bit and will poke him if he's around. Plus, the whole Nobody thing just kind of pings her. Her situation is different, but she can sort of understand the trying to exist and find purpose and stuff. So, it actually hurts her a bit to be around him and the others, but it's not so bad that she can't deal.

And. I'm not quite sure what Haruhi would do if Ryouichi came to camp, myself. It . . . could go either way really. XD

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PART 1

Part 2

Part 3

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